I could not tolerate any pressure for more than a few seconds, or strong pressure at all. A bit too much pressure from lifting, holding or squeezing would give me days of pain. I could not hold or carry objects. I arranged elaborate schemes to get objects moved from one place to another, to open or close doors, and to open jars and bottles. Around this time I was kicked out of my house, and I had to hire people to help me pack, unpack and put away my clothes and other objects. I could not drive. I couldn’t type 5 keystrokes without pain, and over time I could write less and less. Eventually I even had to shorten my signature—writing my full signature caused pain. It was difficult to keep track of anything because I couldn't write or type. I tried taping my to-do lists, but it’s hard to check things off this way, and anyway it hurt too much to use the buttons. I learned to become incredibly organized so I could avoid spending more than a few seconds finding anything. I devised a scheme for dictation using foot pedals, so I didn’t have to operate the start and stop buttons by hand. I got a special programmable phone and programmed lots of shortcuts in it, because it was painful to dial the entire number. I tried voice recognition software, but after a few weeks I was so hoarse, I could hardly speak without a lot of pain. After I stopped it took a month before I could speak without pain again.

I could not look at anything very long without a lot of pain unless it was exactly at eye level or slightly above. Even then, I could not look at anything close for very long. I could not read more than a page or two, before the pain stopped me. I could not watch television more than 15 or 20 minutes. Movies were better because they were far away, but I had to sit exactly in the center -- 1 seat off and my neck was in serious pain from the slight twisting. I could not lie down for very long, nor could I sit for very long. I had to alternate between sitting, lying, and standing, even if I felt horribly depressed (as I often did) and just wanted to crawl into bed. It was hard to talk on the phone – headsets made my neck hurt, and holding the phone made my hands hurt. The straw that broke the camel’s back, however, was not being able to read. Instead, I sat around bored and agitated, with absolutely nothing to do that wouldn’t cause pain, and contemplated suicide.

A few months after the worst phase started, I suddenly got horrible lower mid back problems. Sitting became very painful, but the worst part was lying down. I couldn’t lie down in any position for more than 10 or 15 minutes before I got horrible shooting pains in my back. I had to use strong sedatives to drug myself to sleep so I could get 5 or 6 hours of sleep before waking up in pain. I kept buying and returning mattresses, trying to find one I could tolerate. I ended up spending $2,500 before I found a bed I could live with. A few months later, for no obvious reason the back pain began to subside.

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